PHOTOS, FUN & LAUGHTER to ease COVID-19 boredom
FIRST TIME AT A DOG SHOW
First time at a dog show, I’ll tell you quite plain
I’ll never, no never, go near one again.
The breeder said “Show him” when I bought my dog
I showed him alright, the whole place was agog.
They gave me a number, they gave me a pin
But I couldn’t bear to stick the thing in.
So I rushed to a shop and bought some clear glue
And I stuck the card onto his back in the loo.
We arrived at the ringside to find we were first
In the dog pup class (this part is the worst)
We marched in together as fast we was able
Arrived at the judge who said “Up on the table”.
This really surprised me, my skirt was quite tight
And I just couldn’t make it, try as hard as I might.
The judge looked quite worried, he said “Listen here,
Put you dog on the table, not you my dear”.
By now I was trembling, I felt such a fool
But I said to myself “Play it cool… play it cool”.
“How old” said the judge, I heard it quite clear,
Well really, I thought, and said “Thirty next year”.
The Steward, poor fellow, threw a kind of a fit,
He spluttered, he coughed, and his eyes ran a bit.
“I’d have that cough seen to” I said to him when
He’d finally stopped … then he started again.
“Once round the ring dear, as fast as you can”
Said the judge, so I did, I just ran and ran.
But when I arrived (out of breath I’ll admit),
The judge said “Your DOG dear”, I felt such a twit.
Off round once again, I kept my head bent
Oh the shame, my pup crouched, he just went and he went.
A lady came running with bucket and spade,
With manure so pricey, has she got it made!
We came back to the judge who said with a frown
“Stand your dog” I said “Please Sir, He’s not lying down”.
“You can take the First Place Stand” he said … I said “ta”
What a job I had getting that stand in the car!
